When you're a kid, you get asked that question a lot: What do you want to be when you grow up? And I think it sounds very abstract to a kid because you don't really think you're going to be an adult one day. It all just seems like a game, like playing dress-up, which is why kids say things like: "a doctor, a teacher, a vet, a firefighter, a lion tamer!". You never hear a kid say, "I want to be an office manager or a CPA or an insurance agent or an instrument technician in a chemical plant". Although I would respect that kid a lot.
I think the thing I wanted to be the most consistently when I was a kid was a teacher. Which if someone had explored this desire, I think they would have found that it was because, even then, I had a thing for organization. I can remember as an 8 year old being thrilled by the opportunity to write my pretend students' names on the lines of my gradebook. I also loved writing on the chalkboard and using dry erase markers. I acutally had a desk and chalkboard in my bedroom. I was serious about this teacher thing and I adored going to the teacher supply store to get gradebooks, chalk holders, stamps, etc. I also went through a phase where I wanted to be a dance teacher (ballet and tap). I always wanted to be a mother, but I don't think I considered that a "job" (little feminist that I was).
Even today, at 28 years of age, I still kind of struggle with feeling like I'm not "grown up". I think it's because psychologically I've always associated getting married and having your own family with being a grown up. I feel like I won't really be an adult until I've started my own family. But of course intellectually I know that's not true.
So, what do I want to be now, as a grown up? I would like to work in office administration as an administrative assistant, office manager, or director of some sort of department preferrably in the field of education (so far, so good) and I would like to be a wife and mom (which I now think are probably the 2 hardest jobs you can have).
So there.
Showing posts with label 30 days. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 30 days. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Day 13: My Week
Well, it's only Monday...so I'll tell you about last week.
Monday, October 18th, my mom was in town and we had a VERY fun day in beautiful, sunny Portland. I've already written about it extensively in this blog.
Tuesday, October 19th, was my birthday and I had a great day. I took my mom to the airport, went to work, and had a quiet, restful evening.
Wednesday, October 20th, I went to work, was supposed to go to a get-together that night, but it was postponed. Instead I hung out at Erin's new place (where she fed me lots of Chinese food and cherry pie) and then met Chelsea and Alexa at a bar in Vancouver (Washington, not British Columbia) to see our friend Tony perform his music.
Thursday, October 21st, I went to work....and....what did I do? Oh I think I read and fell asleep kind of early.
Friday, October 22nd, I went to work and later that night Chelsea, Erin, and I went out to a Tiki Bar(!) and some other bars in Portland. Really, really fun and funny night. :)
Saturday, October 23rd, I went grocery shopping, worked at my restuarant job, and hung out with Chels a little bit after work.
Sunday, October 24th, I had breakfast with Erin and then we watched bad TV on TLC and MTV. I also did laundry, made pumpkin bread, and went to church.
That brings us to today, where so far all I have done is go to work. So, there you go, my week.
Monday, October 18th, my mom was in town and we had a VERY fun day in beautiful, sunny Portland. I've already written about it extensively in this blog.
Tuesday, October 19th, was my birthday and I had a great day. I took my mom to the airport, went to work, and had a quiet, restful evening.
Wednesday, October 20th, I went to work, was supposed to go to a get-together that night, but it was postponed. Instead I hung out at Erin's new place (where she fed me lots of Chinese food and cherry pie) and then met Chelsea and Alexa at a bar in Vancouver (Washington, not British Columbia) to see our friend Tony perform his music.
Thursday, October 21st, I went to work....and....what did I do? Oh I think I read and fell asleep kind of early.
Friday, October 22nd, I went to work and later that night Chelsea, Erin, and I went out to a Tiki Bar(!) and some other bars in Portland. Really, really fun and funny night. :)
Saturday, October 23rd, I went grocery shopping, worked at my restuarant job, and hung out with Chels a little bit after work.
Sunday, October 24th, I had breakfast with Erin and then we watched bad TV on TLC and MTV. I also did laundry, made pumpkin bread, and went to church.
That brings us to today, where so far all I have done is go to work. So, there you go, my week.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Day 12: My Bag...& why are we never happy?
I love purses and bags and am always on the lookout for new cute ones; it's kind of my weakness (one of them...). Let's see, what is in my purse right now?
phone
gum
hand sanitizer
3 lip products
powder compact
camera
journal
wallet
keys
pens
notepad
ipod
This morning, as I was reading blogs, something hit me that frequently hits me: why do we always want what we don't have? From the shallow to the profound we seem to like being dissatisfied. People with curly hair want it straight. People with straight hair want it curly. Women with big boobs wish they were smaller, women with small boobs get implants to make them bigger. Single people want to get married, married people want the freedom to have affairs. People want to have children, but parents fantasize about their lives before children. People with good jobs want to do something adventurous, people who are living adventurously long for the security of a good job. The really young want to be older, the old want to be younger. It seems to go on and on.
I'm all for self-improvement and life changes can be exciting and beneficial, but wouldn't it be refreshing and peaceful to actually like and enjoy right where you are? For most of my life I really struggled with always wanting what I didn't have, but in the past few years the Lord has really been teaching me to enjoy exactly where I am, for exactly what it is.
The past year of my life was adventurous for sure. I quit a job, went through a terrible depression, my best friend and roommate of over 3 years moved to Atlanta, I moved from my lifelong home in Texas to Portland, Oregon, was unemployed and didn't know anyone, made new friends, got a job in a restaurant, had to move several times, made lots of bad choices, moved back to Texas, went to my little brother's wedding, was unemployed for the whole summer, moved back to Portland, got my restaurant job back, went on more job interviews than I care to think about, went on several bad dates, finally got the kind of job I've always wanted, and now it seems like I will live in Oregon for at least the next couple of years, far away from my beloved family and Texas.
Do you know what I want? A very plain, normal, boring life. I would love to be married to a man who works 9-5, living in a modest suburban home in the Houston area, and raising 2.5 children and a dog. But that is SO not what I have. And instead of whining about it, I feel like God has graciously asked me to enjoy it. I'm not married, I don't have children, for a while I had a very carefree job, and now I have a job I adore. I love traveling, I love cultural experiences and natural beauty. I know that one day I will look back at this season of my life and absolutely love and cherish every memory. This may not be exactly what I would have chosen, but it is good, maybe better...no definitely better and I am enjoying it for what it is.
I just think that life would be more enjoyable and lived more to the fullest and to God's glory if we chose to make the most of, appreciate, and love exactly where we are in life (as much as possible). I'm not saying we can't admit when we're going through hard times and when life sucks, but let's not miss out on the good stuff because we're so busy focusing on what we wish we had, be it curly hair or a home in the suburbs.
phone
gum
hand sanitizer
3 lip products
powder compact
camera
journal
wallet
keys
pens
notepad
ipod
This morning, as I was reading blogs, something hit me that frequently hits me: why do we always want what we don't have? From the shallow to the profound we seem to like being dissatisfied. People with curly hair want it straight. People with straight hair want it curly. Women with big boobs wish they were smaller, women with small boobs get implants to make them bigger. Single people want to get married, married people want the freedom to have affairs. People want to have children, but parents fantasize about their lives before children. People with good jobs want to do something adventurous, people who are living adventurously long for the security of a good job. The really young want to be older, the old want to be younger. It seems to go on and on.
I'm all for self-improvement and life changes can be exciting and beneficial, but wouldn't it be refreshing and peaceful to actually like and enjoy right where you are? For most of my life I really struggled with always wanting what I didn't have, but in the past few years the Lord has really been teaching me to enjoy exactly where I am, for exactly what it is.
The past year of my life was adventurous for sure. I quit a job, went through a terrible depression, my best friend and roommate of over 3 years moved to Atlanta, I moved from my lifelong home in Texas to Portland, Oregon, was unemployed and didn't know anyone, made new friends, got a job in a restaurant, had to move several times, made lots of bad choices, moved back to Texas, went to my little brother's wedding, was unemployed for the whole summer, moved back to Portland, got my restaurant job back, went on more job interviews than I care to think about, went on several bad dates, finally got the kind of job I've always wanted, and now it seems like I will live in Oregon for at least the next couple of years, far away from my beloved family and Texas.
Do you know what I want? A very plain, normal, boring life. I would love to be married to a man who works 9-5, living in a modest suburban home in the Houston area, and raising 2.5 children and a dog. But that is SO not what I have. And instead of whining about it, I feel like God has graciously asked me to enjoy it. I'm not married, I don't have children, for a while I had a very carefree job, and now I have a job I adore. I love traveling, I love cultural experiences and natural beauty. I know that one day I will look back at this season of my life and absolutely love and cherish every memory. This may not be exactly what I would have chosen, but it is good, maybe better...no definitely better and I am enjoying it for what it is.
I just think that life would be more enjoyable and lived more to the fullest and to God's glory if we chose to make the most of, appreciate, and love exactly where we are in life (as much as possible). I'm not saying we can't admit when we're going through hard times and when life sucks, but let's not miss out on the good stuff because we're so busy focusing on what we wish we had, be it curly hair or a home in the suburbs.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Day 11: My Sibling
I have one sibling: a brother named Paul, he was born in 1987 when I was 4 (almost 5) years old, and I can still remember the day he was born in great detail. Actually I remember before he was born and my parents asked me if I wanted a baby brother or sister and I thought pretty much up until the day he was born that I had the final say in whether it was a boy or a girl; I changed my mind on at least a weekly basis. I remember my mom being pregnant and going to the doctor with her a lot. I remember the night before my brother was born my mom was sitting on the bed in a pink and white striped house coat, talking to my dad about whether we should go to my grandparents house because she thought the baby would be born soon and their house was near the hospital. Late that night we went to my grandparents home (I thought all of this was very exciting) and my grandpa offered us peanut brittle while I begged my mom to read me a Bambi book, my dad called work to let them know he might now be coming in the next day, and my grandmother told me to stop bothering my mother.
The next morning, my brother's birthday, I remember my grandmother waking me up and telling me that my parents had gone to the hospital to have the baby. I was VERY disappointed that they have gone without me and even more disgruntled when my grandparents forced me to eat their signature big breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast. I was eager to get in on the exciting action of my brother being born; well, let's be honest, I wanted the Cabbage Patch doll that my parents had promised I'd get when he was born.
Eventually I remember being in the hospital waiting room with lots of extended family members, at which point my focus was on drinking chocolate milk from the cafeteria and painting my nails with dark pink Tinkerbell (remember Tinkerbell?!?) nail polish with my older cousin Amy. I was having too much fun at that point to be bothered with my mom or brother.The next thing I remember is my dad telling me to help take my brother to the nursery; he was naked and red and in an incubator (that I thought looked like our family's toaster oven) and the whole experience was weird. At least then I was finally able to go get my doll.
After that eventful day, Paul and I became fast friends. When he was really young I kind of took a mothering role towards him and as he got older he became one of my best friends. We've had so much fun together watching The Simpsons, laughing at stupid movie, make fun of other family members, on family vacations, messing with our dogs, and eventually sharing our faith in Christ with each other.
When Paul was a teenager he got really into The Beatles and started playing the guitar A LOT. He went to HBU, just like me. This past May he got married to his high school sweatheart Amanda and now they live in College Station with their little shi tzu puppy, Johann.
My brother is a really good man, in every sense of the word. He loves the Lord, loves others, puts others before himself, is helpful, kind, considerate, fun, funny, smart, talented, giving, thoughtful, unique, gentle, strong, courageous, independent, wise for his years, and compassionate. I'm so glad he's my brother and that no one else can say that! :)
The next morning, my brother's birthday, I remember my grandmother waking me up and telling me that my parents had gone to the hospital to have the baby. I was VERY disappointed that they have gone without me and even more disgruntled when my grandparents forced me to eat their signature big breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast. I was eager to get in on the exciting action of my brother being born; well, let's be honest, I wanted the Cabbage Patch doll that my parents had promised I'd get when he was born.
Eventually I remember being in the hospital waiting room with lots of extended family members, at which point my focus was on drinking chocolate milk from the cafeteria and painting my nails with dark pink Tinkerbell (remember Tinkerbell?!?) nail polish with my older cousin Amy. I was having too much fun at that point to be bothered with my mom or brother.The next thing I remember is my dad telling me to help take my brother to the nursery; he was naked and red and in an incubator (that I thought looked like our family's toaster oven) and the whole experience was weird. At least then I was finally able to go get my doll.
After that eventful day, Paul and I became fast friends. When he was really young I kind of took a mothering role towards him and as he got older he became one of my best friends. We've had so much fun together watching The Simpsons, laughing at stupid movie, make fun of other family members, on family vacations, messing with our dogs, and eventually sharing our faith in Christ with each other.
When Paul was a teenager he got really into The Beatles and started playing the guitar A LOT. He went to HBU, just like me. This past May he got married to his high school sweatheart Amanda and now they live in College Station with their little shi tzu puppy, Johann.
My brother is a really good man, in every sense of the word. He loves the Lord, loves others, puts others before himself, is helpful, kind, considerate, fun, funny, smart, talented, giving, thoughtful, unique, gentle, strong, courageous, independent, wise for his years, and compassionate. I'm so glad he's my brother and that no one else can say that! :)
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Day 10: What I Wore Today
Or I guess we should say what I'm wearing today because the day is not over...
In other news, I LOVE MY NEW JOB! My coworkers are fantastic, there are lots of Texans that work here, everyone drinks more (strong!) coffee than you can imagine, everyone likes to talk and joke around, I get to talk to students, it's a university!, I have my own desk/email/phone number, yesterday I got to clean out and organize a file drawer, I get to park in "faculty/staff" parking...these are just some of the initial thrills.
- Brown slacks
- A somewhat sheer top with orange, red, dark pink, and purple flowers and swirls (from Old Navy) with a white tank top underneath
- A brown wooly sweater with rhinestone buttons
- My brown leather Clarks
- Brown wood circle and dark pink bead earrings I made at YMCA camp in Colorado
- my HBU ring
In other news, I LOVE MY NEW JOB! My coworkers are fantastic, there are lots of Texans that work here, everyone drinks more (strong!) coffee than you can imagine, everyone likes to talk and joke around, I get to talk to students, it's a university!, I have my own desk/email/phone number, yesterday I got to clean out and organize a file drawer, I get to park in "faculty/staff" parking...these are just some of the initial thrills.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Day 9: My Beliefs
What a broad subject: my beliefs. About what? Science? Religion? Morality? Politics? Ethics?
I guess I could sum up most of my beliefs with the word love. And to me love means putting others before yourself and/or treating others the way you would want to be treated. I think another important aspect of love is having your own identity firmly rooted in your identity as God's beloved son or daughter so that you're not finding your identity in your relationship with a person, place, or thing.
I really, honestly believe that everything should be done with love; although I will say that I believe love can sometimes hurt and be painful....but in the good way, like a bone being re-set is painful, but it's ultimately for your own good. Love can be like that. Painful in a moment or season so that it can be most beneficial in the future. I think the love of parents can be like that and obviously the love of God can be as well.
I believe what Jesus said in the Bible.
I believe life is meant to be lived to the fullest.
I believe that it is not my right to judge anyone.
I believe relationships are the most important thing in life.
I believe dogs are one of God's greatest gifts to us.
I believe in living in the moment.
I believe in not giving into your fears.
I believe in being adventurous.
Hmm, what else do I believe?
Drugs are bad.
Rude people suck.
Everyone deserves respect.
Racial diversity is important.
Overalls are always a bad idea.
Jesus loves you anyway.
I guess I could sum up most of my beliefs with the word love. And to me love means putting others before yourself and/or treating others the way you would want to be treated. I think another important aspect of love is having your own identity firmly rooted in your identity as God's beloved son or daughter so that you're not finding your identity in your relationship with a person, place, or thing.
I really, honestly believe that everything should be done with love; although I will say that I believe love can sometimes hurt and be painful....but in the good way, like a bone being re-set is painful, but it's ultimately for your own good. Love can be like that. Painful in a moment or season so that it can be most beneficial in the future. I think the love of parents can be like that and obviously the love of God can be as well.
I believe what Jesus said in the Bible.
I believe life is meant to be lived to the fullest.
I believe that it is not my right to judge anyone.
I believe relationships are the most important thing in life.
I believe dogs are one of God's greatest gifts to us.
I believe in living in the moment.
I believe in not giving into your fears.
I believe in being adventurous.
Hmm, what else do I believe?
Drugs are bad.
Rude people suck.
Everyone deserves respect.
Racial diversity is important.
Overalls are always a bad idea.
Jesus loves you anyway.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Day 8: Those Moments
The subject for today is supposed to be "a moment"; I think that sounds pretty open to interpretation. So I'm just going to talk about 3 different kinds of moments that stick out in my head.
Awkward Moments. You know those moments where there's a very uneasy silence, no one can think of anything to say, and you kind of wish you could disappear. These happen a lot in church small groups, bad first dates, and family reunions with relatives you barely know.
Me-Too Moments. These happen when you really click with someone. When you find out that you both love Lucky Charms or use to watch Tom & Jerry or think Lady Gaga is gross or love eating potato chips with ketchup or have been to China or are Christians or think Arrested Development is hilarious. Those moments when you're really excited to have met a kindred spirit and want to yell, "ME TOO!".
God is Real Moments. I'm assuming these are unique to believers, but those moments when you know, that you know, that you know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, He loves you more than you've ever been loved, and everything He ever said and did is very, very real and He is alive this very moment. That He is the most real thing you will ever experience. Yeah. Those moments. :)
I will tell you about another kind of moment that might make me sound crazy. For most of my life and especially when I was a teenager I would have these quasi-psychic moments where I see something and I just KNOW something about it. Later I found out this is actually part of my personality profile (INFJ). Some examples include when I was 13 my parents drove past what would be my future high school, I looked at it and just knew I would go there someday. The same thing happened when I saw my uncle one day and something just told me I wouldn't be seeing him much longer; he died suddenly less than a year later. When I visited my college for the first time I had this ethereal feeling where I just knew I was supposed to go to school there (and I was so right). When I met my best friend AJ I knew my life was about to change forever. When I started thinking about moving to Portland I just knew that I was supposed to, this weird gut KNOWING. When I was a pre-teen and my family visited Second Baptist in Houston I would get this weird I-know-this-is-going-to-mean-something-to-me-one-day feeling and 5-6 years later I became a believer in that very church. Weird stuff like that. They don't really happen that frequently to me anymore, but I never forget the times that they do.
Awkward Moments. You know those moments where there's a very uneasy silence, no one can think of anything to say, and you kind of wish you could disappear. These happen a lot in church small groups, bad first dates, and family reunions with relatives you barely know.
Me-Too Moments. These happen when you really click with someone. When you find out that you both love Lucky Charms or use to watch Tom & Jerry or think Lady Gaga is gross or love eating potato chips with ketchup or have been to China or are Christians or think Arrested Development is hilarious. Those moments when you're really excited to have met a kindred spirit and want to yell, "ME TOO!".
God is Real Moments. I'm assuming these are unique to believers, but those moments when you know, that you know, that you know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, He loves you more than you've ever been loved, and everything He ever said and did is very, very real and He is alive this very moment. That He is the most real thing you will ever experience. Yeah. Those moments. :)
I will tell you about another kind of moment that might make me sound crazy. For most of my life and especially when I was a teenager I would have these quasi-psychic moments where I see something and I just KNOW something about it. Later I found out this is actually part of my personality profile (INFJ). Some examples include when I was 13 my parents drove past what would be my future high school, I looked at it and just knew I would go there someday. The same thing happened when I saw my uncle one day and something just told me I wouldn't be seeing him much longer; he died suddenly less than a year later. When I visited my college for the first time I had this ethereal feeling where I just knew I was supposed to go to school there (and I was so right). When I met my best friend AJ I knew my life was about to change forever. When I started thinking about moving to Portland I just knew that I was supposed to, this weird gut KNOWING. When I was a pre-teen and my family visited Second Baptist in Houston I would get this weird I-know-this-is-going-to-mean-something-to-me-one-day feeling and 5-6 years later I became a believer in that very church. Weird stuff like that. They don't really happen that frequently to me anymore, but I never forget the times that they do.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Day 7: My Best Friend
What? Really? I get to talk about my best friend today? She is only one of my most favorite subjects!
But first, let me pay homage to all the friends I have called "best" throughout my lifetime:
In pre-k there was Erica. All I remember is that she had a sandbox in her backyard, she had a dog named snowball, her mom let us eat chicken noodle soup with straws, and she moved to Pennsylvania (where her family was from) before kindergarten.
In kindergarten there was Natalie, she was my best friend pretty much all through elementary school. She lived on my street, we were both kind of shy, and we both loved dance class. We did lots of stuff together and I love Natalie and her family. After 5th grade my family moved away, but our families still kind of keep in touch. Natalie and her mom surprised me by coming to my college graduation party and it was so touching it made me cry. Now Natalie is a married mama of at least 2 little ones.
Throughout my childhood, middle school, and high school, my cousin Denise was always one of my best friends.
In middle school, while we lived in Kingwood, there was Lisa, Monica, Becky, and Jenny. All good friends, all fun, all in band and/or track with me (I was in track? What? yes, don't mention it again). In 8th grade we moved to Clear Lake and I met Desiree. Desiree and I had so much fun in home-ec class; somehow when we were making apple turnovers our foil stuck to the baking sheet and we died laughing trying to scrub it off and eventually we both had to buy new baking sheets for the class. We also dipped the apple peels in cinnamon and sugar and ate them.
In high school Desiree was my best friend for sure; we had lots of fun together. We spent a lot of time at each others houses, giggled about guys together, and did crazy things together. I was always so thankful for Desiree's friendship....and I still am thankful for it! We still keep in touch and now she is a beautiful mama to little Christian. My other close friends in high school were Leslie, Karen, and Rebecca.
In college I didn't really have one, central, best friend. My closest friends were Paula, Stephanie, and Kristen, among others.
In grad school I met AJ, we simultaneously became roommates and best friends pretty much at the same time. Living with someone really lets you get to know them! All my life most of my friends had been pretty similar to myself, but AJ was different, I never thought I'd have a friend like AJ and I had trouble believing she wanted to be friends with me. She was sporty, outgoing, practical, industrious, a problem-solver, and one of those girls who looks naturally gorgeous with absolutely no make-up on. She was also hilarious and cracked me up on a regular basis. We lived together for the next 3.5 years and had so much fun together. AJ was my travel buddy: we went to something like 16 states together, I spent time in her home state, she lived with my family in Houston for a while, she went to Colorado with my family, we went to San Francisco for our grad school graduation present to each other, we went to Boston, on a whim, when the swine flu broke out and we had an unexpected week free, and she drove from Houston to Portland with me. The Lord used my friendship with AJ in SO MANY ways in my life. When she moved to Atlanta this past January, it was extremely difficult for me to not be able to see her on a daily basis, but the Lord has been faithful and has slowly replaced my pain with a deep gratitude for my time living with AJ. She will always be very, very, very special to me and I will love her so much!
In Portland I have GREAT friends in Erin and Chelsea. Erin was my roommate for a while and she helped me get my current job. At that job I also became friends with Chelsea. The three of us have had so much fun together, laughed so much, and I have felt so loved and supported by both of them. I am glad to be back in Portland spending time with these lovely ladies.
I hope I'm not forgetting anyone....if I am, I'm sorry, I love you!
But first, let me pay homage to all the friends I have called "best" throughout my lifetime:
In pre-k there was Erica. All I remember is that she had a sandbox in her backyard, she had a dog named snowball, her mom let us eat chicken noodle soup with straws, and she moved to Pennsylvania (where her family was from) before kindergarten.
In kindergarten there was Natalie, she was my best friend pretty much all through elementary school. She lived on my street, we were both kind of shy, and we both loved dance class. We did lots of stuff together and I love Natalie and her family. After 5th grade my family moved away, but our families still kind of keep in touch. Natalie and her mom surprised me by coming to my college graduation party and it was so touching it made me cry. Now Natalie is a married mama of at least 2 little ones.
 |
| Natalie and me at my college graduation party. |
 |
| Denise and me at my college graduation. |
In high school Desiree was my best friend for sure; we had lots of fun together. We spent a lot of time at each others houses, giggled about guys together, and did crazy things together. I was always so thankful for Desiree's friendship....and I still am thankful for it! We still keep in touch and now she is a beautiful mama to little Christian. My other close friends in high school were Leslie, Karen, and Rebecca.
In college I didn't really have one, central, best friend. My closest friends were Paula, Stephanie, and Kristen, among others.
 |
| Kristen, me, and Paula at my college graduation. |
 |
| AJ and me :) |
 |
| Erin, me, Chelsea |
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Day 6: My Day
I will tell you about yesterday.
I woke up around 8 am and got ready for a job interview! Left the house around 9, stopped at a gas station to get coffee and DayQuil because I have a terrible cold (great, right before the interview!), listened to worship music and talked to my mom on the phone.
Went in for the interview at 9:45 because they told me to get there 15 minutes early. They ended up not calling me in for the interview until 10:30! But that was ok because it didn't really feel that long and they were really nice and I read the university newspaper while I was waiting and found out about some good coffee shops I need to try. The interview lasted for about an hour and the people interviewing me were really fun and nice. One of them was from Texas and one of them is the father of the lady I live with. I felt really good about the interview, I think it went well.
After the interview I talked to AJ on the phone and drove to Erin's house. As soon as I got to Erin's we went to Salem, Oregon. In Salem we stopped at Erin's boyfriend's house, then Erin went to try on her bridesmaid dress, and we ate lunch at a really cute little place. After that Erin drove me around Salem to show me where she grew up and then we went to her mom's house to hang out. I fell asleep on her mom's couch while were watching Oprah because I felt so sick. Her mom got home and made us breakfast food - waffles, potatoes, and turkey bacon - so good. Erin's mom also gave me a Sudafed and let me take a hot bath at her house; she even had sweats and a t-shirt for me to change into. I was SO grateful.
Then Erin and I headed back to Portland and watched Dexter when we got home. We finished season 2 and started season 3.
Today has not been nearly as eventful because I feel really sick :( Trying to take it extra easy in hopes that I will feel like myself again SOON.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Day 5: Love, According to Me
Oh, wow, Day 5 is a heavy one: my definition of love. Please excuse me if I sound crazy today, I'm feeling pretty sick and kind of wish I was in bed right now.
Love is a complex subject. I think when you are young it is easy to equate love with pleasure ~ If someone does something I like, they must love me. If I feel good when I am around someone or something, I must love it. I definitely think pleasure is a part of love, but I don't think it is the definition of love.
If I could define love in one word it would be "unselfishness"; other than that I think 1 Corinthians 13 gives an accurate definition of love. The dictionary says that love is a feeling of deep affection, which is true, but it depends on what you do with that feeling of deep affection - if you turn it into something selfish, it can become toxic, if you let it be a tool for enjoying others and putting their well-being before your own, it can be life-giving. Plus, Jesus told us to love everyone, not just people we feel "deep affection" for.
Maybe it would be helpful if the English language had more words to convey love than just "love"; we say "I love you" to our spouses and "I love coffee" - I don't think it's the same kind of love...or at least I hope it's not. I took a year of biblical Greek when I was in college and in Greek there are three different kind of "love": phileo~brotherly, eros~sexual, and agape~God's love. That would help a lot. Then I could say:
I phileo-love my coworkers.
Jesus agape-loves me
I eros-love...well, that's not really any of your business :)
Love is a complex subject. I think when you are young it is easy to equate love with pleasure ~ If someone does something I like, they must love me. If I feel good when I am around someone or something, I must love it. I definitely think pleasure is a part of love, but I don't think it is the definition of love.
If I could define love in one word it would be "unselfishness"; other than that I think 1 Corinthians 13 gives an accurate definition of love. The dictionary says that love is a feeling of deep affection, which is true, but it depends on what you do with that feeling of deep affection - if you turn it into something selfish, it can become toxic, if you let it be a tool for enjoying others and putting their well-being before your own, it can be life-giving. Plus, Jesus told us to love everyone, not just people we feel "deep affection" for.
Maybe it would be helpful if the English language had more words to convey love than just "love"; we say "I love you" to our spouses and "I love coffee" - I don't think it's the same kind of love...or at least I hope it's not. I took a year of biblical Greek when I was in college and in Greek there are three different kind of "love": phileo~brotherly, eros~sexual, and agape~God's love. That would help a lot. Then I could say:
I phileo-love my coworkers.
Jesus agape-loves me
I eros-love...well, that's not really any of your business :)
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Day 4: What I Ate Today (in order of consumption)
- water all day long
- a small cup of coffee with 2 Land o' Lakes creamers
- Fiber One cereal w/skim milk and raspberries
- Multi-grain pita chips w/Trader Joe's Hummus Quartet
- 1 cup coffee w/2% milk (at work)
- 2 bites chocolate stout cheesecake (at work)
- a few of Chelsea's nachos (at work)
- 2 pieces flat bread with more hummus
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Day 3: Mis Padres
Today is a breath-taking day in Portland: in the high 60's/low 70's, cloudless, and gorgeous. Summer is lingering into the Fall and I am very glad. Today I decided to go back to my roots in a way. I'm at Floyd's Coffee Shop in SE Morrison; this is the very, very first place I went my first day alone in Portland. It was a Sunday, we went to church, then I dropped AJ off at the airport, got back in my car and had probably one of the biggest meltdowns of my life. I was alone. In Portland, Oregon. And the first place I sought solace in was a coffee shop. My GPS helped me find Floyd's and when Floyd's closed I headed to Palio's and I've pretty much been finding comfort and peace in Portland coffee shops ever since. They really are my home away from home.
So, what to say about my parents....First, my dad, David, I've always called him "Daddy" (I'm one of those girls). The older I get the more I realize that my dad is pretty much the best dad in the entire world; he has shown me what a good father, a good husband, and a good man look like. He's 58 and for my whole life he's worked in a chemical plant. He was born in California because his dad was in the military, then he grew up in Orlando, Florida, where his dad tragically died, and moved to Houston when he was a teenager because my grandmother was from the Houston area and had family there. He mostly lived in Houston since then except for a period of time when he lived in Tucson, Arizona, was in the military, and was married once before. He moved back to Houston in the 70's, met my mom, and has been there ever since. My dad is an extremely hard worker and has always made lots of sacrifices to make sure our family had everything we needed, and pretty much everything we wanted.
When I was a kid I thought my dad was so much fun: he was always doing stuff in the yard like putting out the sprinkler or shoveling huge piles of sand, he built a huge garden, he would set up the kiddie swimming pool for us, he tickled us, made us laugh, built forts for us, played with us in the swimming pool, played baseball in the backyard with us, made us listen to lots of classic rock, let me sit in his lap when we watched Gremlins, and let us have lots of pets that he had to clean up after. Once he made us a fort (out of blankets and furniture) with a window in it so that we could still watch cartoons; that was pretty epic in my mind, I think for years after that I would say, "remember that time Daddy made a fort with a window!?!".
My dad also gave me a love for traveling! Some of my favorite memories in my entire life are of family road trips; my parents would load my brother and I in the car with toys and snacks and we were set. When I was around 8 years old we drove to California and went to Disneyland. When I was around 10 we drove all over the South. When I was 17 we drove all the way up the East Coast to Maine and Niagara Falls and when I was 23 we drove up almost the whole coast of California, went across all the way over to South Dakota and back down to Texas. I've been to 41 states, mostly thanks to family road trips, and I can't wait to make it to all 50!
As an adult I've come to really respect my dad for his logical, practical mindset. When I'm facing a situation and don't know what to do, he is definitely the person I would go to for advice and he makes me feel like any financial problem can be handled well if you're smart about it, but he's also fun and knows when to splurge on the right things. I feel extremely blessed to have my dad be my dad.
Wow, this is long....
My mom is Laura, when I was a kid I called her "Mama" and now I call her "Mother", I don't know why, it just happened. She is 51, a teacher, and a lifelong Houstonian. When I was a kid she stayed at home with us, we use to watch soap operas and eat chips & salsa, and I use to drink her cold coffee. I LOVED my mother, LOVED. I still do, but when I was a kid I thought she was the be-all, end-all of life itself. In my mind she was always cleaning our house and the smell of lemon Pledge still reminds me of her and my childhood. She was also always taking baths and talking to my grandmother on the phone. I loved going out to eat and shopping with my mom and grandma...wait, I still love that :) She loves dogs, traveling, reading, Jesus, coffee, wine, tea rooms, and Hugh Grant movies.
I don't even know how to describe my mother. I think she really might be the nicest, best person in the world. Frequently throughout my life I have been asked, "does your mom ever get mad?" and the answer is....no, not really. She will not be mean to anyone, even if they're clearly rude to her, she loves everyone, is never rude or snobby, and NEVER lies, not even white lies, not even things that would maybe perhaps even a tiny bit hint at a lie (my dad calls her "Honest Abe" haha). I don't think she means to be, but my mom is also hilarious, her idealistic ways and when she gets frustrated with something crack me up.
There is no one that I feel like I can be more myself with than my mother, I love talking to her and telling her things and she has seen me in every horrible possible way you can see a human being and in the good moments too and she has never judged me or been unsupportive in any way. I have the best, most meaningful conversations with my mom. And my mom loves, loves, loves her children, there is no doubt about that, she has always been fully devoted to my brother and me. I am extremely grateful my mom is my mom.
As we get older I think my brother is more like my mom and I'm more like my dad, but we're a good mix of both. My whole life I took my parents for granted and thought that's just what parents were like, but as an adult I have realized how incredibly blessed my brother and I were (and are) to have the parents we have.
Every time I think about my parents and my childhood, I am reminded of the verse "From everyone who has been give much, much will be demanded..." (Luke 12:48). I know that not everyone has great parents and wonderful childhood memories, so I try to remember that the strong foundation I was given as a child is meant to be a springboard for me to bless others as an adult. I hope to one day have my own family and pass on the legacy of a strong, loving, supportive family. Here's a picture from my college graduation in 2006:
So, what to say about my parents....First, my dad, David, I've always called him "Daddy" (I'm one of those girls). The older I get the more I realize that my dad is pretty much the best dad in the entire world; he has shown me what a good father, a good husband, and a good man look like. He's 58 and for my whole life he's worked in a chemical plant. He was born in California because his dad was in the military, then he grew up in Orlando, Florida, where his dad tragically died, and moved to Houston when he was a teenager because my grandmother was from the Houston area and had family there. He mostly lived in Houston since then except for a period of time when he lived in Tucson, Arizona, was in the military, and was married once before. He moved back to Houston in the 70's, met my mom, and has been there ever since. My dad is an extremely hard worker and has always made lots of sacrifices to make sure our family had everything we needed, and pretty much everything we wanted.
When I was a kid I thought my dad was so much fun: he was always doing stuff in the yard like putting out the sprinkler or shoveling huge piles of sand, he built a huge garden, he would set up the kiddie swimming pool for us, he tickled us, made us laugh, built forts for us, played with us in the swimming pool, played baseball in the backyard with us, made us listen to lots of classic rock, let me sit in his lap when we watched Gremlins, and let us have lots of pets that he had to clean up after. Once he made us a fort (out of blankets and furniture) with a window in it so that we could still watch cartoons; that was pretty epic in my mind, I think for years after that I would say, "remember that time Daddy made a fort with a window!?!".
My dad also gave me a love for traveling! Some of my favorite memories in my entire life are of family road trips; my parents would load my brother and I in the car with toys and snacks and we were set. When I was around 8 years old we drove to California and went to Disneyland. When I was around 10 we drove all over the South. When I was 17 we drove all the way up the East Coast to Maine and Niagara Falls and when I was 23 we drove up almost the whole coast of California, went across all the way over to South Dakota and back down to Texas. I've been to 41 states, mostly thanks to family road trips, and I can't wait to make it to all 50!
As an adult I've come to really respect my dad for his logical, practical mindset. When I'm facing a situation and don't know what to do, he is definitely the person I would go to for advice and he makes me feel like any financial problem can be handled well if you're smart about it, but he's also fun and knows when to splurge on the right things. I feel extremely blessed to have my dad be my dad.
Wow, this is long....
My mom is Laura, when I was a kid I called her "Mama" and now I call her "Mother", I don't know why, it just happened. She is 51, a teacher, and a lifelong Houstonian. When I was a kid she stayed at home with us, we use to watch soap operas and eat chips & salsa, and I use to drink her cold coffee. I LOVED my mother, LOVED. I still do, but when I was a kid I thought she was the be-all, end-all of life itself. In my mind she was always cleaning our house and the smell of lemon Pledge still reminds me of her and my childhood. She was also always taking baths and talking to my grandmother on the phone. I loved going out to eat and shopping with my mom and grandma...wait, I still love that :) She loves dogs, traveling, reading, Jesus, coffee, wine, tea rooms, and Hugh Grant movies.
I don't even know how to describe my mother. I think she really might be the nicest, best person in the world. Frequently throughout my life I have been asked, "does your mom ever get mad?" and the answer is....no, not really. She will not be mean to anyone, even if they're clearly rude to her, she loves everyone, is never rude or snobby, and NEVER lies, not even white lies, not even things that would maybe perhaps even a tiny bit hint at a lie (my dad calls her "Honest Abe" haha). I don't think she means to be, but my mom is also hilarious, her idealistic ways and when she gets frustrated with something crack me up.
There is no one that I feel like I can be more myself with than my mother, I love talking to her and telling her things and she has seen me in every horrible possible way you can see a human being and in the good moments too and she has never judged me or been unsupportive in any way. I have the best, most meaningful conversations with my mom. And my mom loves, loves, loves her children, there is no doubt about that, she has always been fully devoted to my brother and me. I am extremely grateful my mom is my mom.
As we get older I think my brother is more like my mom and I'm more like my dad, but we're a good mix of both. My whole life I took my parents for granted and thought that's just what parents were like, but as an adult I have realized how incredibly blessed my brother and I were (and are) to have the parents we have.
Every time I think about my parents and my childhood, I am reminded of the verse "From everyone who has been give much, much will be demanded..." (Luke 12:48). I know that not everyone has great parents and wonderful childhood memories, so I try to remember that the strong foundation I was given as a child is meant to be a springboard for me to bless others as an adult. I hope to one day have my own family and pass on the legacy of a strong, loving, supportive family. Here's a picture from my college graduation in 2006:
Thanks Mother & Daddy! :)
Friday, September 24, 2010
Day 2: My First Love
I would have to say my first love was Robert. I won't say his last name to protect his innocence. I fell in love with Robert in first grade; I know that sounds stupid, but hear me out. Robert may have been in my kindergarten class, but I know for sure he was in my first grade class. First grade was probably my favorite year of elementary school and Robert was a big reason for that :) We use to get in trouble for talking to each other. Robert was kind of a bad kid and his name was always "on the board"; once in a while my name was on the board, but it was mostly for talking to him. We would flick bits of eraser at each other and I always tried to sit at the same table with him at lunch, where he would tell bathroom-humor jokes. Oh, childhood.
The reason I think Robert was my first love is because of what happened the summer before second grade. My elementary school use to do this thing where they would post the new classes for the new school year in the front windows. So the week before school started all the mothers would take their kids up to the school to see who their teacher was and who else was in their class. Well, as it turned out, Robert was NOT in my second grade class. I distinctly remember swinging on the swingset in my family's backyard and thinking to myself: what am I going to do without Robert in my class? How will I survive second grade? Apparently I've been dramatic since birth.
I don't remember much about Robert after that, but at one point when I was in either college or grad school my mom worked with a lady who was Robert's aunt and she emailed my mom a picture of Robert in his military uniform; of course my mom forwarded it to me and it was very strange to see him all grown up!
Sad to say, since my Robert days I don't know if I can really say I've been "in love". I've definitely dated, had boyfriends, and had crushes of course, but when I really think about it, I don't think I've been in love with a man before. That sounds really strange and vulnerable to me right now. I just don't like it when people rush to say they're in love with someone. I don't want to mistake lust or interest for love. I know what it is like to love another person (in an unromantic way) and I sure do love my dog (if you know me, you know that me loving you like I love my dog is probably the highest compliment you could get), so I know what love is and I think I'll know it when I truly fall in love with the right man.
Incidentally, I was watching Dexter last night (and of course only I would make a TV show into a nerdy lesson on self-actualization), but I thought this was really interesting: two of the characters were talking about the men in their lives who had hurt them. One of them said that she still sometimes missed the guy and the other one said, "You don't miss him, you miss the way he made you feel about yourself". I thought that was profound! It made me wonder how many women stay with men they KNOW are bad news just because they like the way him liking them makes them feel?
I know that for me, when a guy likes me and is paying attention to me, I feel wanted, loved, cared for, important, worthy of attention - and those are wonderful feelings, but I think we should know that we are those things even if a guy isn't paying attention to us. Without getting too deep, I will just say that if you're struggling with wanting to feel that way and trying to get it from a guy (or from anything really), it might sound trite, but it's true - Jesus is the answer - He loves, cares for you, thinks you're worthy of all His attention, and thought you were important enough to die for - much better than any guy you will ever date or marry.
Plus, when I do fall in love, I want it to be because I really love the man I'm falling in love with, not because I just love the way he makes me feel about myself.
The reason I think Robert was my first love is because of what happened the summer before second grade. My elementary school use to do this thing where they would post the new classes for the new school year in the front windows. So the week before school started all the mothers would take their kids up to the school to see who their teacher was and who else was in their class. Well, as it turned out, Robert was NOT in my second grade class. I distinctly remember swinging on the swingset in my family's backyard and thinking to myself: what am I going to do without Robert in my class? How will I survive second grade? Apparently I've been dramatic since birth.
I don't remember much about Robert after that, but at one point when I was in either college or grad school my mom worked with a lady who was Robert's aunt and she emailed my mom a picture of Robert in his military uniform; of course my mom forwarded it to me and it was very strange to see him all grown up!
Sad to say, since my Robert days I don't know if I can really say I've been "in love". I've definitely dated, had boyfriends, and had crushes of course, but when I really think about it, I don't think I've been in love with a man before. That sounds really strange and vulnerable to me right now. I just don't like it when people rush to say they're in love with someone. I don't want to mistake lust or interest for love. I know what it is like to love another person (in an unromantic way) and I sure do love my dog (if you know me, you know that me loving you like I love my dog is probably the highest compliment you could get), so I know what love is and I think I'll know it when I truly fall in love with the right man.
Incidentally, I was watching Dexter last night (and of course only I would make a TV show into a nerdy lesson on self-actualization), but I thought this was really interesting: two of the characters were talking about the men in their lives who had hurt them. One of them said that she still sometimes missed the guy and the other one said, "You don't miss him, you miss the way he made you feel about yourself". I thought that was profound! It made me wonder how many women stay with men they KNOW are bad news just because they like the way him liking them makes them feel?
I know that for me, when a guy likes me and is paying attention to me, I feel wanted, loved, cared for, important, worthy of attention - and those are wonderful feelings, but I think we should know that we are those things even if a guy isn't paying attention to us. Without getting too deep, I will just say that if you're struggling with wanting to feel that way and trying to get it from a guy (or from anything really), it might sound trite, but it's true - Jesus is the answer - He loves, cares for you, thinks you're worthy of all His attention, and thought you were important enough to die for - much better than any guy you will ever date or marry.
Plus, when I do fall in love, I want it to be because I really love the man I'm falling in love with, not because I just love the way he makes me feel about myself.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Day 1: An Introduction
So, I've been seeing this "30 Days of Blogging" things on others blogs and I think I'll give it a try. I don't know if I'll be able to do it 30 consecutive days in a row, but I'll try and I'll definitely get all 30 entries in eventually.
Day 1, Let me introduce you to...myself. My name is Melanie, my middle name is Lauren, and my last name is kind of a funny one. All my life people have asked me if I get teased a lot about my last name, but the truth is, I've rarely been teased about it. I can only think of 2 specific times when I was teased about my last name (one was in kindergarten and one was in 6th grade). Other than that I actually get a lot of compliments on it, things like, "I LOVE your last name!" or "is that REALLY your last name?!" (no I had it printed on a credit card just to be funny...) or "that is such a cool last name!".
I grew up in a really amazing family, with 2 loving parents, a little brother who is one of my best friends ever, and always a dog (Lumpy, Jack, and then Sadie). I lived in Texas (and mostly Houston) pretty much my entire life until very recently. Growing up in Texas is like growing up in another country, it's like being Irish or something, Texans are proud to be Texans and most never want to leave.
I didn't want to leave until about a year ago and it wasn't that I really wanted to leave, it was just that I needed some change, something different. So now I live in Portland, Oregon. And I love it, but I can't get Texas out of my system. I don't think it will matter how long I live or where I live, I will always feel like I should be in Texas, it will always be my life-long dream to live and thrive in Texas.
Things I like: reading, traveling, coffee, coffee shops, writing, music, live music, art in all its forms, cultural events, festivals, cooking, baking, dogs, my dog Henry, family, the seasons, going out, staying home, pajamas, glasses, intelligence, quirkiness, laughing, driving, organization, nostalgia.
I'm an INFJ and I think that explains a lot. Google it.
Currently I am single, I work in a restaurant as "support staff", and I rent a room in a really pretty house with really nice people.
When I was 18 I became a Christian and that is the most important thing in my life. I believe love is THE most important thing in life and therefore Jesus is the most important person because He shows us what love is, what it feels like to be loved, and what it looks like to love Him and others. My goal in life is to do what Jesus said: Love God first and then love others. No judgment, just love. I'll leave judgment to God, it's really not my job. I believe that Christianity is all-inclusive and is all about being loved, loving others, freedom, joy, and peace. It is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. However, that is not to say being a Christian is easy or all rainbows and smiles. The Lord is not afraid to refine you to the point of breaking your life to pieces and then putting it back together again, but that's where trust and faith come in - He's knows what He's doing and it is all ultimately for your own good. I speak from experience :)
So, there you go, that's me. I guess. I don't think I'm leaving anything out. The following days will give you more detail. Until then I have a sinus pressure headache and have to go to work in an hour.
So we've been introduced, nice to meet you, have a great day!
Day 1, Let me introduce you to...myself. My name is Melanie, my middle name is Lauren, and my last name is kind of a funny one. All my life people have asked me if I get teased a lot about my last name, but the truth is, I've rarely been teased about it. I can only think of 2 specific times when I was teased about my last name (one was in kindergarten and one was in 6th grade). Other than that I actually get a lot of compliments on it, things like, "I LOVE your last name!" or "is that REALLY your last name?!" (no I had it printed on a credit card just to be funny...) or "that is such a cool last name!".
I grew up in a really amazing family, with 2 loving parents, a little brother who is one of my best friends ever, and always a dog (Lumpy, Jack, and then Sadie). I lived in Texas (and mostly Houston) pretty much my entire life until very recently. Growing up in Texas is like growing up in another country, it's like being Irish or something, Texans are proud to be Texans and most never want to leave.
I didn't want to leave until about a year ago and it wasn't that I really wanted to leave, it was just that I needed some change, something different. So now I live in Portland, Oregon. And I love it, but I can't get Texas out of my system. I don't think it will matter how long I live or where I live, I will always feel like I should be in Texas, it will always be my life-long dream to live and thrive in Texas.
Things I like: reading, traveling, coffee, coffee shops, writing, music, live music, art in all its forms, cultural events, festivals, cooking, baking, dogs, my dog Henry, family, the seasons, going out, staying home, pajamas, glasses, intelligence, quirkiness, laughing, driving, organization, nostalgia.
I'm an INFJ and I think that explains a lot. Google it.
Currently I am single, I work in a restaurant as "support staff", and I rent a room in a really pretty house with really nice people.
When I was 18 I became a Christian and that is the most important thing in my life. I believe love is THE most important thing in life and therefore Jesus is the most important person because He shows us what love is, what it feels like to be loved, and what it looks like to love Him and others. My goal in life is to do what Jesus said: Love God first and then love others. No judgment, just love. I'll leave judgment to God, it's really not my job. I believe that Christianity is all-inclusive and is all about being loved, loving others, freedom, joy, and peace. It is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. However, that is not to say being a Christian is easy or all rainbows and smiles. The Lord is not afraid to refine you to the point of breaking your life to pieces and then putting it back together again, but that's where trust and faith come in - He's knows what He's doing and it is all ultimately for your own good. I speak from experience :)
So, there you go, that's me. I guess. I don't think I'm leaving anything out. The following days will give you more detail. Until then I have a sinus pressure headache and have to go to work in an hour.
So we've been introduced, nice to meet you, have a great day!
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