Day 14: What I wanted to be...

When you're a kid, you get asked that question a lot: What do you want to be when you grow up? And I think it sounds very abstract to a kid because you don't really think you're going to be an adult one day. It all just seems like a game, like playing dress-up, which is why kids say things like: "a doctor, a teacher, a vet, a firefighter, a lion tamer!". You never hear a kid say, "I want to be an office manager or a CPA or an insurance agent or an instrument technician in a chemical plant". Although I would respect that kid a lot.

I think the thing I wanted to be the most consistently when I was a kid was a teacher. Which if someone had explored this desire, I think they would have found that it was because, even then, I had a thing for organization. I can remember as an 8 year old being thrilled by the opportunity to write my pretend students' names on the lines of my gradebook. I also loved writing on the chalkboard and using dry erase markers. I acutally had a desk and chalkboard in my bedroom. I was serious about this teacher thing and I adored going to the teacher supply store to get gradebooks, chalk holders, stamps, etc. I also went through a phase where I wanted to be a dance teacher (ballet and tap). I always wanted to be a mother, but I don't think I considered that a "job" (little feminist that I was).

Even today, at 28 years of age, I still kind of struggle with feeling like I'm not "grown up". I think it's because psychologically I've always associated getting married and having your own family with being a grown up. I feel like I won't really be an adult until I've started my own family. But of course intellectually I know that's not true.

So, what do I want to be now, as a grown up? I would like to work in office administration as an administrative assistant, office manager, or director of some sort of department preferrably in the field of education (so far, so good) and I would like to be a wife and mom (which I now think are probably the 2 hardest jobs you can have).

So there.