When it's Cold in Houston...

Cold weather in Houston seems unnatural. Awkward almost. Like Niles Crane in a football uniform or something. When I'm cold in Houston I feel like Houston is trying to be something it's not. Heat, humidity, steam, and sun - that is Houston's natural state.

This image came up when I googled "snow in Houston". Ha.

Since I moved to my new apartment at the beginning of October, I have been more acutely experiencing the weather in Houston. For most of the fall it was still warm and humid. Therefore, my apartment was warm and humid. I have a small window AC unit, but I think it doesn't work properly, needs the filter changed, or window AC units just suck in general. This is my first experience with a window unit, but I will say it doesn't seem to keep me cool unless I'm standing directly in front of it without any clothes on. Not that I do that.

In the past week or so Houston has gotten cold. And I don't mean just cold for Houston (we get chilly in the 60's). I mean actual cold. Cold as in 30's and 40's. That's cold, right? And while my apartment has a crappy little AC, it has no heating element whatsoever. Unless you count the oven, which sometimes I do.

My first night in my apartment since it's turned cold, it dawned on me rather quickly, that wearing a sweatshirt and piling a couple of extra blankets on my bed was not going to suffice. I made a quick trip to Target and purchased a small space heater and an electric blanket. God bless the person who invented electric blankets. When it's cold in your home, there is nothing better than getting in a toasty, electric blanket-heated bed! It's heavenly and makes the cold actually kind of fun. The only problem is, now I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. Warm electric blanket versus frigidly cold apartment? The only thing that helps is knowing that I can drink coffee with this creamer (I only drink it at Christmas time):

For some reason last night's cold was especially bad. At one point I could see my breath. In my home. Cold. My toes felt numb. The water from the faucet was so cold it hurt while I was brushing my teeth. My computer was too cold to touch (stupid aluminum). My facial moisturizer felt like it had been in the refrigerator. All my clothes feel like they've been in the fridge. My towel doesn't dry after my shower.

My solutions? Coffee. Wine. Cooking stuff in the oven because it heats the whole kitchen. The famous electric blanket. The space heater (which is really only effective if it's pointed directly at you and at close range). Hot baths. Hot showers. Sweatshirts. Long socks. Boots. Scarves. My coat I bought for Chicago. I haven't worn gloves in my house, but that might be next. House slippers. Layers. Flannel pajama pants.

This probably sounds crazy to people who are accustomed to cold weather, but in Houston it's really pretty novel. I'm actually excited that I get to wear my flannel pajamas and that they actually keep me warm instead of having to peel them off in the middle of the night because I'm too hot. That's what I keep telling myself: to enjoy wearing scarves, sweatshirts, and a coat because it's so rare in this part of the state.

I'm also looking at the overall situation of lacking central heat/AC in my apartment as an opportunity to experience life more fully. We live in a modern society where we can make it feel like winter inside when it's really 112 degrees outside. But for most people, throughout history, they've had to experience the elements. If it was cold or hot outside, they were cold or hot inside. So, I try and glamorize and romanticize it that way. Like I'm a character in a book set in the 1700's or something.

It's also more natural, creative, and cheap. I like the idea of acting appropriately for the season. Dressing warm in the winter, eating and drinking hearty, warm things seems appropriate. Dressing lightly in the summer and eating fresh fruits and drinking cold drinks also seems appropriate. Not having central heat/AC saves a lot on my electric bill as well.

I have no idea how long I will live in this apartment, but for now I'm really enjoying it....cold and all. Plus, this is Houston, it could be back in 70's by this weekend. I love this city.

Always Running

When I moved to Portland the first time I was running. Running from depression, from fear, from disapointment, from pain, from consequences, from myself, from God, from embarrassment.

When I moved back to Texas from Portland the first time I was running. Running from pain, from embarrassment, from consequences, from bad choices, from the unknown, from temptation.

When I moved to Portland the second time I was running. Running from disappointment, from loneliness, from fear, from embarrassment, from the unknown, from stagnation, from God & purity & trust & faith.

I'm about to move back to Texas. This time for a good, long while...if not forever. And this time I'm not running.

In BSF we've been studying Isaiah and it has really been speaking to me on the whole concept of prophesy, exile, rebellion, and redemption from the Lord. Not long before I found out I would be returning to Texas we studied this passage and not to personalize the Bible too much, but I felt like God was applying this to my life, saying to me in my heart, this is you right now.

Out of here! Out of here! Leave this place!
Don't look back. Don't contaminate yourself with plunder. Just leave.
But leave clean. Purify yourselves in the process of worship,
carrying the holy vessels of God.
But you don't have to be in a hurry.
You're not running from anybody!
God is leading you out of here,
and the God of Israel is also your rear guard.
Isaiah 52:11-12 The Message

Since moving back to Portland the second time the Lord has both broken me and healed me. Broken me of my pride and own self destruction while simultaneously and graciously healing me of depression, pain, dissappointment, and shame and teaching me how to trust and live in faith, to live loved.

I am leaving Portland not because I am running from anyone or anything, but because God is gracious and has made me whole and free. Free to make good choices, free to seek Him and beg Him to refine my heart, free to pursue the refined desires of my heart in submission to His will and in the peace of trusting His ways.

I am leaving a place that I dearly love and people I dearly love for a place that I adore with people I adore. Portland means so very much to me; it is precious. Houston is indescribably home. My coworkers at Multnomah have been some of the kindest, most loving, most welcoming, most godly people I have ever known. My family is a profound blessing.

I am not running. I am choosing. I am walking away, calmly, serenely, happily, gratefully, humbled, and knowing who I am and who I am loved by. I am overwhlemed by the Lord's kindness - to save me, to teach me, to discipline me, to lead me, to redeem me, heal me, and most of all to love me so, so, so very well. Perfectly.

I can see the difference. I'm a mess and I always will be, but in Him, well, who cares about me when there's Him? I even forget to worry about myself in the light of His goodness, grace, and power...and that is a wonderful state of living. :)

No more running.

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes from faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith - that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. Philippians 3:8-12 ESV

Thoughts from my Day

I've been working on a meanigful, thoughtful post, but this is the reality of my day.

• I wear cardigans a lot. As in, pretty much every single day of my life. Part of why I love Portland is because I can wear a cardigan almost year round. They've become like a little security blanket for me; without a cardigan I feel naked. And I have them in almost every color!
• I have a new coworker I have dubbed "The King of Junk Food" because he's always giving me the stuff. Today he gave me a Moon Pie. A Moon Pie?! Who eats those anymore (besides maybe old men in the South)?
• Today at lunch I got 2 little chocolate chip cookies for dessert. A coworker at my table asked me if they had coconut in them. I said I thought maybe a little. After a few minutes I noticed there was something crunchy, yet flavorless in the cookies. I then realized it was CORN FLAKES! And they seemed stale! The cafeteria put stale cornflakes as a filler in their cookies!? I will now be more careful when eating cookies at lunch time.
• The university that I work at has been doing a Bible knowledge scholarship contest for students. Staff can get copies of the test and take it just for fun. Today I got one and so far the questions are pretty difficult. It's fun, but I don't want them to score it in case I do horribly. Ironic that a Bible knowledge test would bring out my sinful pride. Ha.
• I just started reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and now that's all I want to do.
• I have a coworker who's making a business trip to Austin in March and she asked me for some recommendations of where to go. I'm not that familiar with Austin, but I made a list for her of my favorite places in that wonderful city and it made me really homesick for Texas.
• I need to go grocery shopping after work today, but I don't really want to.
• There are these really pretty trees in Portland. I have no idea what they're called, but they have flowers that look like roses and they are so pretty. They're starting to bloom right now and I absolutely love it! The cherry trees are also starting to blossom, which is exciting. I am ready for winter to just be a memory.
• OK, I think that's it. 45 more minutes and then...it's the weekend!

One Year Later

A year ago yesterday I arrived in Portland with the intention of living here for one year and then moving back to Houston. Well, it's a year later....and here I am. In Portland. I feel as though I should have some profound reflections about living in Portland for a year (well for 9 months), but I don't really... Instead I have some bullet points. For what they're worth...

• Today is a GORGEOUS, sunny, beautiful, wonderful day in Portland. Which really makes up for yesterday (and the past 6 weeks) which were gray, dark, dreary, cold, and wet. 
• I'm at Palio and the guy who looks like my brother is working; for some reason I find that very comforting. That's probably weird. 
• I still have my Texas license and license plates. And my expired Texas tags. I don't know what will finally motivate me to change that stuff. A citation maybe? Yeah, probably. 
• In one year, I've lived in SE, NE, and NW Portland, I've lived in 5 different homes and I've had 2 jobs. 
• I've only had Internet in 2 of those places. 
• My coffee consumption has doubled if not tripled. 
• I miss Texas. 
• I adore Portland. 
• My heart aches for Henry.
• I still miss AJ. 
• I love Erin, Chelsea, and my job. 
• I'm writing a book chronicling the last year of my life and how God has used it to change me; it will probably be more therapeutic to me than it will be beneficial to anyone else. 
• Today I was walking around Reed College and 2 guys were ranting about the poor grammar that is apparently rampant in our society. Well, one of them was ranting, the other one was just listening and agreeing. I hope the ranting one never reads my blog... I say things like "pairs of glasses" all the time!
• Trader Joe's makes my life complete. Their tea tree oil facial cleanser, organic frozen pizzas, cheap wine, and macaroons are why I live in Portland. I'm not kidding 
• It seems like there are other reasons I live in Portland, but now I can remember what they are...
• I joined Twitter...and now I feel like I'm friends with several celebrities. 
• I can't wait for Spring and Summer! 
• Portland has only made my love for 50's and 60's decor much, much worse. Thank you thrift stores. 
• If I see one more hipster I'm going to punch someone. Just kidding. :)

I guess I could wrap everything up in pretty much one (posssibly run-on) sentence: When I came to Portland one year ago my heart was fragile, frantic, terrified, insecure; now, a year later, completely due to the Lord and all in Christ's Power, you're talking to a woman who's heart is secure, strong, calm, and full of hope & joy. 

Before I moved to Portland I decided that On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand would be my theme song and it's so true! When I got here I was for sure standing on a foundation of sinking sand, but He has without a doubt become my Solid Rock and for that I am eternally grateful!

Lovely Times in Lubbock

This weekend my cousin Michael got married in Lubbock, Texas. Being the good cousin that I am (and having an abundance of free time at the moment) I decided to accompany my parents to the wedding. Although Lubbock and Houston are in the same state, Lubbock is about 10 hours away from Houston - it was quite a journey! Oh, Texas...

On the way we stopped at one of our family's MOST favorite places - Common Grounds in Waco, Texas! I love Common Grounds, it kind of reminds me of something in Portland, and of course I love anything that reminds me of Portland. At CG we met up with my Aunt Linda and Uncle Mike.

And had some delicious coffee. I always get the "Milky Way".

Then we all stopped for lunch at Babe's in Burleson, near Fort Worth. I enjoyed going to Babe's many times while I lived in Fort Worth and was in grad school.

At Babe's Aunt Linda was a little enamored with the roosters....

During the car ride I had a spiritual moment while observing the clouds. It just kind of struck me how absurd clouds are. Some things in nature just make me think, God must exist, there's no other explanation. I was in awe. Like I said, it was a long car ride.

Finally we arrived in Lubbock and our hotel was ready for us. Almost everyone at and in the wedding was staying at the same hotel, which was fun, we all got to eat continental breakfast together each morning.

The rehearsal dinner was so fun. Look at this cute little candy jar filled with personalized M&M's featuring the bride and groom's faces and in the wedding colors. Whoa.

My mama and I at the rehearsal dinner.

My dad and uncle getting cuddly and being goofy.

Baby Anna Grace, my cousin Julie's daughter.

Yes, those are THREE empty wine glasses. I'm not saying they were all mine...

Saturday during the day we explored Lubbock. Here I am with a GIANT pair of glasses at the Buddy Holly museum (we didn't actually go in the museum). So appropriate.

That night, at the wedding, I lit a candle at the Catholic church and really appreciated this little prayer.

My cousin Michael and his wife Katie.

Anna was dressed up for the wedding.

The table decorations at the reception.

They met at Texas Tech.

Aww, that reminds me of my grandparents.

On the way back to Houston we stopped in Dublin, Texas and I got my picture with a giant can of Dr. Pepper. Yes!
All in all it was a really fun weekend, a really nice wedding, and great time with family. Congratulations Katie & Michael Cast!

The Grass is Greener in Houston

I've lived in Houston, Texas, Fort Worth, Texas, and Portland, Oregon and I've never found grass that compared to the grass in Houston. I know. Grass. What a boring subject, but it's actually really important - if you think about it - grass is everywhere! Good grass is a vital backdrop to our world.

I hate thin, scraggly, itchy grass. I abhorred the grass in Fort Worth. Most of the time it was yellow and all of the time it was itchy. In Houston, the grass was always thick, green, and soft, with thick blades of a deeply green shade. When I was a child, I was intimately acquainted with the grass in my family's front and back yards. You know how when you're a kid, you will actually lay down in the grass, roll around in it, s

pend hours playing in it? At least that's what I did. I knew every inch of my childhood backyard. As adult I tend to think, who knows what's in that grass?! Bugs, worms, dog poop. Disgusting. At the very least I need a blanket before I will lay down on the grass.

Over the past several year I've come to realize that Houston grass is special, but I didn't know what kind of grass it was. Recently my mom told me she thought it was called St. Augustine grass. So, I did a little research (Google) and I discovered that's exactly what it's called. Apparently, St. Augustine grass is a tropical grass, most commonly found in the Southeast US (especially the Texas Gulf Coast) and tropical islands and it does best in

"hot, moist" environments. No wonder it's in Houston!

I know it sounds silly, but I just really love this kind of grass. I think I have an emotional attachment to it. To me, St. Augustine grass says childhood and gives me warm, cozy memories of playing in the backyard with my brother, family BBQs, and having fun.

If you don't live in an area that has St. Augustine grass, I'm sorry. Come visit Houston! If you do live in such a grass-blessed area, be thankful, I'm pretty sure St. Augustine grass is one of the good things in life.

Various & Sundry Things

Want to hear something fun? My previous post, the one about my new job? All the managers/owners/whoever read it. Yep. When I came to work a couple of days later, or so, they were all like, "I enjoyed reading your blog". Creepy. I'm glad I didn't say anything scathing about the restaurant. But I kind of sort of thought that might happen. So I was careful. Plus, I don't really have anything scathing to say about that fine restaurant. Promise.

Over the past week I have had a few encounters of the Texas-variety (most of those at work, since that's the only place I go now):

• I met a guy wearing a University of Texas hat and jacket. He said that he and his wife went to school there. And the gentleman he was with said his daughter lives near Denton.
• I met a lady wearing a UT shirt and she said she got it while on a business trip in Texas.
• I met a man wearing an ASTROS shirt. This was the highlight for sure. He's from Corpus and his wife was from Victoria and they've been in the Northwest for years, but still! I was excited! An Astros fan in Battle Ground, Washington?! I'll take it.
• Several weeks ago a girl at Imago told me about a kolache shop in Portland that was owned by Houstonians! I have been dying to check it out and today I did. The Happy Sparrow has delicious kolaches! I had a sausage and cheese one and a raspberry - both just as good as any kolache I ever had in Texas. And did you know that people in other states don't even know what kolaches are?! The horror!

It's the small things, like Astros t-shirts and kolaches that truly warm my heart and remind that Texas might be far away, but by the grace of God on humanity, Texans are everywhere. :)

You know, when I told people in Texas that I was moving to the Northwest, the one thing that I most commonly heard was - the weather is horrible up there! It always rains. Always. Always. Always. ALWAYS.

And you know what? In my opinion, the weather is AMAZING. Yes, it does rain frequently. I guess. But it's rarely a pouring rain. Mostly it's a light sprinkling. And most days when it rains, it's not for the whole day, it's just for a part of the day, and frequently the rainiest part of the day is at night, when you're asleep anyway. And when it's not raining? Gorgeous. I've been here for 6 weeks and the temperature has pretty much stayed in the low 50's. No humidity. Not hot. Not cold. Wonderful. And green and cool and refreshing. So far, I LOVE the weather here and literally everyone I meet tells me that the summer is going to be better than I can imagine.

One of the things I'm really enjoying are the plants here in Oregon/Washington. They have cherry trees! And other flowering plants that leave me wondering - what the heck is that?! It's beautiful...

These pictures are from a park in Vancouver, Washington and a neighborhood in SE Portland. If Heaven doesn't include some of these trees...I will be disappointed.