Wednesday, August 6, 2014

What I Ate Wednesday: Moderation is the goal...

All my life I have thought of myself as an unhealthy, over-eater. I attempt to eat healthy foods and abstain from terribly unhealthy foods, but at the end of the day I normally feel like I have failed at that goal. Part of that could be psychological and part of it is definitely true. 

Lately I have identified a (the) problem. I track my meals pretty much everyday and more often that not I eat a pretty healthy and smartly portioned breakfast and lunch. It's dinnertime where things usually go awry (especially if I go out to eat at a restaurant). By dinnertime I am usually so hungry that my willpower has gone out the window. However, even if I'm not terribly hungry, I will still overeat if the food is really good. I think I also feel like a fun dinner is my reward at the end of the day. If I ate well all day and/or had a stressful day, then at the end of that day I can't resist eating whatever I want. 

Dry off-brand Fruit Loops from the Baptist Camp.
Coffee with 2% milk from the Baptist camp. Those are our bunk beds in the background. 
Coffee with coconut milk creamer and a Fiber One 90-calorie bar. 
A banana!
Friends also influence me. Not that I'm blaming them, but if a friend orders the burger and fries or dessert or an extra glass of wine, I'm MUCH more likely to do so a well. I'm a live-in-the-moment kind of person. I like to make the most out of life and really enjoy myself. This is a quality I both like and struggle with about myself. I wish I could save the indulging to truly "special days", like birthday, holidays, or other celebrations. Instead, I can make a regular old Tuesday a celebration. Which, I both like and struggle with about myself. 

Asian stir-fry veggies and chicken with Jasmine rice, soy sauce, an egg roll, and sweet and sour sauce. 
Homemade chips from Buc-ee's.
Club sandwich from Buc-ee's. 
Domino's pineapple and ham pizza. 
Uncle Darryl's Chocolate Cake from The Chocolate Bar. Ridiculous. 
Two little Sour Patch Kids. 
I have no answer to this. And I'm asking for no answer. I'm just coming to terms with myself and seeking out ways to live more gratefully and aware. I do not want to eat (or spend money or do anything) out of emotionally unhealthy reasons. And those aren't fixed by a Weight Watchers plan. They're fixed internally, in the soul. Pretty deep for pictures of my food, huh?

No comments: