Monday, April 6, 2009

In the End ~ Gratitude Project 2009

Today marks the beginning of my last 3 weeks in Fort Worth.

It kind of feels surreal. I'm excited, but at the same time I'm feeling a little nostalgic. I think it's just because it's the ending of a time period in my life. In more ways than one. I can remember moving to Fort Worth in the summer of 2006 and I had so many questions - where will I live? who will I live with? where will I work? will I like my classes? who will I meet? what experiences will I have?

And now all those questions have been answered. It's like reaching the end of a book (albeit, not a very good one :). This is the end of my grad school/Fort Worth experience, but it's also the end of my "I'm a student" era in life. It's time to get a real (full-time) job and be fully independent. I almost completely supported myself in grad school, but I always had the crutch of "I'm in school...". No more. Now it's time to be an adult...and face whatever that means in life. Work. Work, for sure. Marriage? Motherhood? Getting older. Nieces. Nephews. A huge pit bull-lab-mutt named Henry.

The older I get, the more I realize the adults were always right - life goes by so fast! Even though I haven't exactly loved living in Fort Worth, I want to try something: for these last 3 weeks I want to start Gratitude Project 2009. Ha. But seriously, I want to see what will happen when I am truly focused on everything I have to be grateful for in this place. And it's a lot. It's always been a lot. I'm grateful for my life circumstances right now and for everything in the past 3 years. I want to reminisce with the intent of focusing on all the things I had to be grateful for while I lived in Fort Worth. 99.9% of the time I take the elements of my life for granted and I inevitably end up complaining about something. Really, I have nothing to complain about and I want to focus on that. I want to thoroughly enjoy these last 3 weeks. I can't change how I thought or what I focused on in the past (and I don't necessarily want to), but I want to see what will happen when I focus on gratefulness. Just like a little experiment.

I already started last night, and it's actually reallyyy fun.

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