Sunday, February 26, 2012
A Thin Spot: Trash Bags
Being the occassional sentimental that I am, this empty box of garbage bags brought tears to my eyes this morning. OK, not really, but it did give my heart pause.
This empty box of trash bags may seem so common, but in truth, that box has witnessed a very important part of my life. I purchased that box of trash bags at the Walmart on SE 82nd Avenue, when I moved to Portland, Oregon, over 2 years ago. While I was in Portland I lived in 5 different homes and spent a summer in Houston and those trash bags came with me to each place. They lasted so long because at most of the places I lived I didn't need to have my own trash bags, but independent, self-sufficient woman that I am, I always brought my own. Just in case. I also ended up using them frequently for packing purposes.
The past 2 years of my life have been possibly the most difficult, most eventful, most meaningful, and most dramatic of my life. As I've reached this 2 year marker I am continually in awe as I reflect on what has happened in the past 24, and even just the past 12 months.
I will never be able to adequately express how grateful I am to Jesus for what He has accomplished in my life during this time. The saying is that "hindsight is 20/20" and my perspective right now is near perfect. As I reap the fruit of His purging, pruning, and refining, I am humbled, grateful, and full of peace.
I would do it all again. He is so faithful and so trustworthy. So gracious and so loving. And not because He's given me everything I ever wanted. But because He's given me Himself. Awareness of His Presence, His Beauty, His work in the seemingly mundane, in the mess, and in the chaos.
That's why that silly box of trash bags from Walmart was not easily tossed into the recycle bin. Because it was there. From one move to another and then another. It went from Portland to Houston and back again. It sat on the shelf while I cried tears of pain and tears of joy. Using up the last trash bag reminds me that everyday I get a little further from my life-changing time in Portland. But my heart will never, ever forget. My heart lives daily in the freedom of those changes.
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 KJV