Monday, April 20, 2009

Today the Day the Gratitude Project was TESTED

A week ago I wrote an entry in this blog explaining how I wanted to consciously be grateful and appreciative of my last days in Fort Worth. I've spent a lot of time in Fort Worth lamenting what I don't like and I wanted to end my time in Fort Worth focusing on what I do like. Because I'm blessed and sometimes I just need a reality check. 

Well, today that was TESTED. My "gratitude" was at an all time low. I had one of my worst days ever in Fort Worth. And that is saying a lot. 

This is it - my last full week in Fort Worth. My last full week at my jobs. So, what happened? The plumbing in our bathroom went out. Of course! Why not? Saturday morning I cleaned the whole house, I scrubbed the bathtub, and I was feeling very accomplished. I was just about to get in my freshly scrubbed bathtub and take a nice relaxing bath, shave my legs, and get ready for the rest of the fun Saturday. And that's when I saw it - water gushing into the tub - not draining out of the tub like it's supposed to, but gushing up into the tub, from the drain. And it wasn't just water. No, it was sewage. Sewage. 

This wasn't the first time this has happened. It happened a couple of months ago and our landlord supposedly fixed it. Well, needless to say my luxurious bath was canceled. Later that day I went hiking in the humidity and got sweaty. When I got home and for the remainder of the weekend I could not take a shower or flush my toilet. G-r-o-s-s. 

Our landlord came on both Saturday and Sunday, but neither time could he successfully fix the plumbing. By Sunday night my roommate and I had resorted to going to the bathroom at the CVS Pharmacy down the street. Oh my. And one of our wonderful friends let us come over to her house Sunday night and take showers. I went from Friday morning to Sunday night without taking a shower or washing my hair. That's a long time for me. Hot showers/baths are my happy place, where all my stress melts away. And I hate feeling dirty. Hate it. 

So, THEN, last night my roommate found out that her grandmother died. She knew it was coming, but of course it was still hard and very sad. My roommate's family and the funeral are in South Carolina, so this morning she left and she won't be back until Friday afternoon. 

My last week in Fort Worth I have no roommate, no toilet, and no shower. What do I have? Two rambunctious pit bull puppies that I have to take care of and contractors and City of Fort Worth Water Department employees coming in and out of my house. I almost had a nervous break down today (not really). I got home from work, the puppies were crazy, the people working on the plumbing didn't speak English, I was hungry, one of the puppies ATE THROUGH her leash, and I just really, really wanted to go home (Houston). 

However, through all of this, I keep thinking about gratitude. I think maybe this is a test, I said I wanted to be more grateful, and maybe God is seeing how badly I want to focus on the good. I've spent too much time dwelling on the bad and maybe this is a test to see if I've truly changed. I don't know if I passed or not. Or maybe God is just helping me make the transition from Fort Worth to Houston, helping me feel really excited about the move to Houston because let me tell you, any of that silly nostalgia I was starting to feel for my time in Fort Worth is gone. I have had a lot to be grateful for in Fort Worth, but I will also be grateful when this season has passed!

I think the day was made worse just by the fact that I am SO ready to be gone. I feel like a runner who's a few feet from the finish line, but I just can't seem to make it. Two weeks ago I thought I was home-free. I thought my last 2 weeks in Fort Worth would be a breeze. I think that's why these present difficulties seem so...difficult. 

Thankfully, I feel much better now... after Panda Express, Sex and the City (the movie), and a small glass of white wine.

1 comment:

kelly said...

:( That made me sad... I hope the week got better. Are you back in Houston now?