I sometimes fantasize about being a morning person. Up before the sun. In the cool, calm, dark of morning; beginning the day with peace and a sense of readiness.
But the truth is, I am profoundly not a morning person. I love nothing more than at the sound of the alarm on my iPhone, snuggling deeper into the pillows and pulling the covers a little tighter as the bright morning sunlight filters in through the crappy mini-blinds in my bedroom (who still has mini-blinds?). Ahhh, relaxation and a denial of the reality that I must get up sooner or later.
I've come to terms with this part of my personality. Or perhaps my biological make-up.
Yes, they say being an early-bird or a night-owl (those are honestly the technical terms) is biological. As in, you don't choose it, it chooses you. I think that might be true. That and the force of habit. I just feel more alive after 9 pm - energized, ready to take on the world, organize a closet, write a paper (as my college and grad school selves can attest), bake a cake, read for hours.
And the thing is, I want it all: late nights that roll into the wee hours of the morning and lazy mornings that ease me into an afternoon of activity. I don't necessarily want to sleep all morning, I like to get up by 9 or so, it's just that I definitely want to putter and take my time once I'm up. Drink green tea while gazing out the window at nothing except two mockingbirds chasing a squirrel (true story from this morning).
When I do happen to arise before the sun for some very important reason...ok, this almost never happens, but if I get up even close to when the sun got up, I feel extremely virtuous, like I've committed some great act of valor.
Normally, on the weekdays, I sleep at least 45 minutes later than I intend to and then the mornings are a flurry of slightly adrenaline-induced activities: getting my self ready for work, packing my lunch, scrambling an egg with goat cheese, and gulping green tea while hurriedly glancing out the window to watch the wildlife frolic. I promise myself every morning that I am going to take my melatonin and turn out my bedside lamp by 10 pm for sure that night, only to stay up until midnight reading just a little longer or watching just one more episode of something fascinating.
I would like to point out, however, that this post was written by 10:42 AM. I feel proud.